hey styx!!!! heres your fucking article you nerd!!!!!

im gonna be completely honest.. not really sure how to write an article. much less a peer reviewed article in a scientific journal but...
you've got a lot of knowledge stored in the noggin of yours.
cat facts? got it. pokemon info? got it.
only cool and smart people have brains that big!
you can even dm which i feel is a very big brain task.
who else can memorize so much and do all that math?
that is a smart people hobby for sure!

for you, i am even willing to overlook the fact that you eat lemons like a goddamn heathen.
(photo for context) --------------------------------------------------------------------------------->
seriously thought why do you eat it like that? doesnt it hurt your teeth?
do you enjoy the feeling of the gods frowning down upon you? is that your goal?
and why do you put it in pepsi? must you taint syrupy goodness with foul citrus?
its fucking bizarre and i just dont get it. but youre so cool i have to overlook this
terrible crime you seem to commit regularly.

and my last point is... youre a really great person so be friends with!
conversations with you are so effortless
and it always feels like youre listening to what people are saying
also you send cat pictures!!! what an absolute treat
youre a joy to talk to and i hope we get to talk forever :)

and those are just some of the reasons youre so smart and cool!
the list could definitely go on,
but as of writing this it is 3am so im gonna go play wizard 101 now
k bye! -max
also ur cool and rubys a dweeb shhhhh